confrontation...

I hate confrontation, really hate it. It upsets me and I tend to avoid it as a rule.

Yesterday I had someone speak to me in such a way where I found myself feeling embarrassed and humiliated. (I found myself feeling pretty much the same way I used to feel when I was at school and being told off by the nuns.) Initially I wanted to lash out and tell her to shut up and stop talking to me like that, but then I realised that I was assuming the role of the child and confirming her role of the superior parent/authoritarian type figure. Not good.

So I went off to lunch and thought about it a lot. I was not happy with the situation and felt that the only way around it was to confront it. *sigh* I had been spoken to in a very unprofessional way by a senior member of staff and her inability to communicate effectively was not my problem. I didn't want this to take up any more of my time or emotions.

I returned to work and found the staff in question and told her that as a result of the words she said to me earlier I'd felt a little embarrassed. (I tried to make it sound a little softer than that by acknowledging that this was a critical care area with a high level of skills required...) I then said if she had found a fault in my work would it not be easier to teach me how it was supposed to be as I was still learning. I informed her I appreciated that she had a role to play as team leader. (Very nervous at this point and could feel that my case was going to be become a little shaky soon)

She appeared to become defensive in her reply and in turn I became aware that I was feeling defensive and nervous. I finished what I had to say, acknowledged what she had said and left it at that.

God above did I want to throw up afterwards.

Upon reflection I am happy that I'd pursued this but shit, it wasn't fun.