Well that was a brief but brilliant love affair. It is sad that it couldn't have worked out but the direction it was taking wasn't a healthy direction.
We finished at the weekend and I don't regret it but I do have these little niggling little feelings.
I believe that these are grounded in a fear that the future for me is to remain single. A lot of this fear is generated since this relationship started. I had thought I'd found the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with and now a part of me feels that I'm back at square one.
But, the majority of my feelings are that this relationship was never going to be good for either of us. Changing who you are for another person is only ever going to work if you really want it not for the sake of keeping a relationship going. I didn't want to change who I am and I didn't like the idea of giving up on my dreams.
Regarding being back at square one. No I don't think so. I've learned that I can fall in love again, the first time wasn't a one off and it's highly likely that I'll fall in love again.
*laugh*
Right now I think I'll give it a break and focus on my course.
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